The Families We Choose (2024)

Can I choose my family?

Sometimes family relationships are tainted by seriousness, negativity, and a sense of obligation. But with friendship, blame and shame don’t rear their ugly heads as much. If you have negative feelings about a friend, then why would you bother with that person? With friendship, there should be more lightness and positivity. We pick our friends and they pick us, that complement brings an affection that makes us feel secure and valued.

I am more open to feedback from friends, how can I be that way with family?

Flesh and blood family members aren’t always willing to be up front with us about certain things. Why would they be? We’re not always willing to hear what a family member has to say; we bristle and are defensive with their feedback. Having close friends may offset this dynamic. We’re often more willing to take a friend’s commentary, which can impact and help how we relate to our family relationships.

How are friendships similar to family relationships?

Close friendships are based on reciprocity. If you repeatedly fail to show up when you’re needed, and depending on how great your friend’s need may be, your value within this network will decline. Don’t be surprised if she fails to show up for you, either. Friendships are built on mutuality and reciprocity, if you are there for her, she will be there for you. Like family.

Can friends matter just as much as family?

According to research from Michigan State University, older people are healthier and live longer when they have a close network of friends. Essentially, when it comes to longevity, friends can matter more than family. And if that friend lived nearby, one’s health and happiness increased by 25 percent.

Why is there stigma around being childfree?

Research from Indiana University found that respondentsperceive childfree men and women as less fulfilled, and evenimmoral when compared with people who have children. Childfree women who have chosen not to have childrenare often unfairly labeled self-centered and shallow. SImilarly, people misjudge and marginalize men without children, labeling them as commitment phobes. The reality is in fact very different.

Are people without children happier?

There is no clear answer here, but people who have children are more likely to suffer depression than people who do not have children, according to research from Florida State University. While there is a bump in marital quality when kids leave for college, parents tend to carry their anxieties through the empty nest stage, and they continue to worry about their adult children’s health and well-being in later life.

Can a couple survive infertility?

A Danish study found that infertile couples were more than three times as likely to get divorced as couples who have children. However, many couples who cannot have children do stay together. A UK study found that a huge contributor to the happiness of childfree couples is simple relationship maintenance—making the time to talk and share experiences and common interests.

Can we mirror the bonds of having children, without children?

Whether partners are childfree by choice or childless involuntarily, researchers are starting to pay attention to this category. One study that appeared in the Wiley journalSociology Compass, "Doing Family Without Having Kids,"found that these adults can create bonds that mirror the fulfilling aspects of having children.

Are pets seen as family members?

If the animal’s presence is inconvenient, the animal is often ejected from the family system. As anthropologist Dafna Shir-Vertesh notes, animals are “flexible persons” or “emotional commodities.” They are persons when we want them to be, and when we tire of them or they create tension in a family or we are moving house, they are demoted to being “just a pet.”

How has the COVID pandemic affected pets?

In some parts of the world, Wuhan China for one, pets have been abandoned because families had to leave their homes. In other places, such as in the U.S., people lost jobs and people were asked to work from home and quarantine. The adoption of dogs and cats has increased at a record pace in 2020. In fact, animal shelters around the country have been reporting difficulties in keeping up with the demand for animals. Animal enthusiasts, however, worry about post-pandemic treatment of pets.

What is a "pet parent?"

Participants in a study on pets and the people who care for them found that more women than men considered themselves parents to their pets. This may change after the birth of children. Here, again, we see a flexible sense of personhood, in which the treatment and regard of a pet shifts as a result of changes in circ*mstances and the overall family dynamic.

Can my pet inherit my money?

Your pet cannot legally be a beneficiary of your assets. However, you can create a trust for your pet. This will ensure that your pet is cared for after you die. Between 100,000 to 500,000 animals end up in shelters after the death of their owner-pet parent, according to the Humane Society of the U.S.